highsch00ls:

5evamore:

when i see really attractive people i just laugh because i know if we lived in the aztec culture they’d be sacrificed to the gods for their beauty 

That’s a very strange way of coping with not being really attractive.

(Source: buthere-thereisnolight, via shinebrightlikeacarrehh)

kushdrinker:

i need to do a sex

(via kleptomaticdreams)

assiest:

i want a chinese tattoo that means ‘i don’t know’ so people will just give up on asking the meaning

(via kleptomaticdreams)

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

(via kleptomaticdreams)

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

wearejohnlocked:

maakara:

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why the fuck would you email a tumblr post to someone

hey grandma you gotta read this johnlock smut fic

(via kleptomaticdreams)

maxterbate:

maxterbate:

Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr?

Free chocolate milk for everyone

i have just been informed on this

(via kleptomaticdreams)

cupboardundersomestairs:

Eurovision gifs

(via yourheartbeatinreverse)

edmundcorcoran:

in Europe we don’t say ‘i hate you’ we say ‘nil points’ which roughly translates as ‘we still hold a grudge against you for something a while back and we don’t share a border with you either’ i think that’s lovely don’t you?

(via yourheartbeatinreverse)

westbor0baptistchurch:

putting on headphones set at a really high volume

(via yourheartbeatinreverse)